Asked about adopting Congolese children? A guest blog- Jilma Meneses, Our Family Adoptions
While I am traveling, I asked a few friends to pitch in with their stories of Congo. I hope you enjoy hearing them as much as I have. – Lisa
Our Family Adoptions: Jilma Meneses
An Unbroken Spirit:
I never set out to accomplish this. My first love is family and my second is education. I spent my time pursuing those goals. My life was full and so was my heart. But in 2001, I suffered a personal loss that made me look at my life in a new way. I questioned what I knew and trusted, and needed to re-assess. I was offered a mission trip to Latin America, but had already been there and knew it was not the right fit. A few weeks later I was offered an opportunity to go to Congo, to help build an orphanage in the city of Lubumbashi.
When I researched DRC, I was amazed to learn about the turmoil, war, and suffering the people of Congo had been enduring. At that point, little was reported in western media about the war and human rights abuses. The spilling of Rwandan genocidaires into Eastern Congo was poorly known. Rebel leader Laurent Kabila had captured the presidency from the fleeing Mobutu, but Kabila had just been assassinated by one of his own bodyguards.
When I arrived in Congo I was overwhelmed. The infrastructure was broken. It was as if time had stopped in the early 1960s. And in some sense it had. Since the Belgian colonial government pulled out of the country, there had been little advance in architecture or technology. The intersections had streetlights, but there was no electricity to power them. Lush street trees in the once-elegant city were being chopped down for cooking firewood.
I arrived at the site of the orphanage and it was a simply a cement foundation with a huge pile of bricks. At first I waited for the men to carry bricks, but when none did, I began to carry them myself. After a while, I was joined by a group of Congolese mamas dressed in bright colors, and together we carried bricks in the hot sun. We sang songs and laughed and spoke in the broken French I remembered from college. I was surprised to realize that each brick I carried lightened my load.
I laughed with the orphan girls. We played games together and sang more songs. One evening I spoke with Mama Francine, the orphanage director, and asked her, “Where will these girls go? This facility you are building is safe and wonderful, but you need to find homes for the girls. Where will they go when they cannot live here any longer?”
Mama Francine looked at me and simply replied, “Why don’t you adopt one?”
What could I do? My husband and daughter were at home in the US and didn’t know what I was experiencing. I stayed awake all night because I couldn’t sleep. Could we adopt? What would that be like? How would a young Congolese girl fare when transplanted into America?
I could write of the waiting, pondering, questions and worry I had. But the answer is this: my husband and daughter were as excited and eager to adopt as I. The logistics were complex, and we had to organize many details because we did our own adoption. There were no adoption agencies working in DRC at that time, so there was no roadmap to follow. But in 2003, our Congolese daughter joined us in America, and we became a family of four. My life was full – I focused on family and education. I returned to my career.
But my heart was not full.
I remembered all those other faces. All those other girls at the orphanage. Those lost boys on the street with distant eyes.
I spoke of my experiences in Congo to friends and family. I told them what I had learned and what the Congolese people were enduring. After a while, we had friends come to us and ask if it really was possible: “Do you think we could adopt from DRC, too?”
I helped them adopt their daughters. The word spread. I helped other families adopt their daughters. I helped a family adopt a son.
Despite my fulltime career, my children and husband, I took on a second job. Well, it would be a job if I got paid for it. But I don’t. And I wouldn’t want to. My attorney’s license allows me to represent families in their adoption proceedings. I built trustworthy relationships with DRC attorneys. I organized assistance programs for the orphanages. Now I assist adoptive families who are able to commit to a lifetime relationship with DRC – who know their adoption promise extends to all of Congo, not just their adopted children.
To date, we have helped 20 children of Congo find families. We have seventeen more adoptions in process for 2010 alone.
I never set out to accomplish this. I think of all those children who need food, who need love, who need a family. There are 5 million orphans in DRC. That is an overwhelming number. But I hear my daughter laugh, and she has an unbroken spirit. She is American, but she is Congolese. The songs of the mamas working in the hot sun that day still echo in my ears. And every brick I carry lightens my load.
Jilma is an amazing woman. She escorted us and spent over three weeks with us in the D.R.C. during our adoptiong process. She did amazing things there.
Jilma, I am so glad that your heart was yet not full. I am so glad that it led you to helping the children of the D.R.C. I am so glad that I was given the opportunity to meet someone who is so willing to give up so much of themselves to help the children of the D.R.C. If it were not for you, I would not have my two babies in my arms today. I know so many more parents that feel the same way. Thank you is not nearly enough!
What a beautiful expression of your experience, Jilma. I know that I am at the very start of this journey into opening my heart to the D.R.C. but my heart already feels so burdened by what I am learning about the people and how and where they live. I pray that God will continue to remove me, one step at a time, until I see the men, women and children of the D.R.C. through his eyes. And maybe, just maybe, he will bless me with a child from there in the meantime. Thanks for sharing and pouring your time and soul into this cause.
we are interested in adopting from congo but are searching for a trustworthy lawyer in DRC. i don’t know if you can help me or not but i hope to hear back from you. thank you so much.
-megan snyder
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